Being an Adult Child does not mean a person is immature. In fact, growing up I heard all the time “your’re so grown up for your age.” This is because as a child growing up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional home I had to learn things well before my time. At times I had to provide my own parenting; a responsibility children are not equipt to handle.
Adult Children respond to situations from the stand point of reactors not actors. Always living moment to moment waiting for the next thing to react to. This can be a very stressful, unhealthy, and painful state.
According to an article by MentalHelp.net, 30 million children are born to alcoholic parents. The effects of Alcoholism is a family disease and it is affecting millions daily. Many people who come from homes without alcoholism will also relate to the traits of being an Adult Child. These traits developed in homes where children are shamed, abused, and are (feel) abandoned. Situations are perspective based. Take for example two children growing up in the same house hold, they will often have a completely different perspective on what family life was like. Parents will also have a greatly different perspective on the family life.
If this material conjures up somethong inside you, then know, you’re not alone! There are many Adult Children out there. We don’t have to live this way. There is a choice, and it’s ours to make. We can stop being the victim. We can do what’s in OUR BEST INTEREST, even when someone else doesn’t like it… (that one can seem really scary)
It’s time to ask ourselves if this is the right path for us? Is this the direction I want to be heading? Where is this path taking me? Where DO I want to go? Is this way of life serving me? What’s a better (even better) way to be?
Make the best of today, and everyday! Forgive yourself and others! Don’t “should” all over yourself or others. (That’s a discussion for another post)