Blue Moon

When I think of this title I get the image of the three mice from the movie Babe singing Blue Moon.

Blue moon isn’t just a beautiful sight to me though, it’s also a feeling. I try to stay open and not hold on to any one belief to tightly, after all, the only constant is change. This feeling catches me off guard, because I don’t normal pay attention to the moon phases.

Have you ever felt like crying for no reason? You have no idea why, you just feel this heavy weight. Or it might come as an uneasy feeling, something like unrest. This happens to me once a month around the time of the full moon. My inner critic is particularly ruthless at this time as well.

I find it hard to sit and do something for myself, such as knitting or taking a bubble bath. My mind is flooded with thoughts of inadequacy and lack. There’s no time for rest, I hear. Your goals aren’t going to reach themselves.

If I get into defense mode, fighting with reality, I suffer. I toil and writhe, unsatisfied with any thing I decided to do or not do. Unhappy and taking innocent bystanders with me. Then, if I’m lucky, I’ll realize what is happening.

When I become aware of the moons affect on me, I am flooded with self compassion. I accept what is and stop fighting. I can be still with these feelings. I understand I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are not personal. My awareness is the first step in making a change.

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